Reconciling Sin

I have found there are four steps mentioned in the Bible. The very next verse in 1 John (1:9), the author writes, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Proverbs 28:13 is among many other verses advocating confession, which is step one.

Practically speaking it would be odd to confess without asking for forgiveness, that is, saying, “I am sorry for what I did (or for what I left undone)” but it can be done. One can simply say, “Hey neighbor, I dented your car when I was backing out of the driveway last night.” Alternatively, it will almost certainly make a situation worse to ask forgiveness without confessing, such as if you say to your spouse, “Whatever I did to make you mad, I am sorry for it!” Nowadays, I hear many people offering insulting apologies like, “I am sorry you were offended by what I said.” We must be sincerely sorry for our actions. We have all given and gotten half-hearted apologies, a shrug of the shoulders and a mumbled, “sorry.” It does not help.

In the Lord’s Prayer, in Matthew 6:12 and 14-15, Jesus states, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

How do you know if someone is truly sorry? First, we must atone for our mistake. If I break something belonging to a friend, I must fix it or replace it. To truly show my regret, I must pay a price that is dear to me. That, I believe, was part of the nature of the sacrificial system in the days of the Temple worship in Jerusalem. Ideally, each person took an animal they had raised themselves, without blemish, not the runt of the litter, and gave it to God. That was an animal that might otherwise have been food for one’s family, or provided more offspring and wealth.

And second, I must repent. In Acts 3:19, Luke wrote, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” And in his Gospel, Luke wrote (13:3), “I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” The modern phrase for that is to change my ways. If I commit adultery, I must never do so again. That will likely mean changing who I interact with, or how I do it. Biblically, this means turning from sinful ways and to the way outlined in God’s Word.

Not all this is necessary for forgiveness. But for reconciliation, these are the necessary components. The bigger the sin, the more important these steps are. Murder and adultery stand out as two that are impossible to undo. (And yet, sin is sin. In some ways, there is no “big” and “little” sin.)

The Good News of the Bible is that we do not have to pay that atoning sacrifice to have forgiveness with God. 1 John 2:2 reads, “He (Jesus) is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” With God, we are already forgiven once we confess and ask it. But there must be repentance as well. Jesus told the adulterer in John 8:11, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

This is where the Holy Spirit must now come in. I have found that only by surrendering can I achieve victory over sin. Only by admitting that I cannot do it by my own strength and asking him to send his Spirit to me can I stop sinning. This I have to do every single day when I wake up, and often throughout the day. My terrible pride, my shameful lust and my indolent laziness are perpetual sources of attack that I must be ready for (hence the Armor of God in Ephesians 6). I once re-wrote the words to the Eagles’ classic song “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” to read “I found out a long time ago what the Devil can do to your soul. Oh, but he can’t take you anywhere you don’t already know how to go.” There must be both a personal responsibility for sin and an understanding and acceptance that we cannot conquer it on our own strength. So when we sin against others, for reconciliation, confess, beg forgiveness, atone and repent. When we sin against God, confess, beg forgiveness and repent. He has already paid the price.