Reflections on the Big Day

I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the truth.  3 John 1:4

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  Ephesians 1:4

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  Hebrews 12:1-2

As I look back now, just a few days after adding Abbey to our family, I want to consider the prayer I prayed for them in their wedding ceremony.  It was essentially these three verses.

The first is perhaps my favorite verse in the Bible, and the reason I teach Confirmation Class.  As a father, I can honestly think of nothing in the world that fills my heart with more joy than to watch Owen and Abbey, as well as Henry and Lindsey, walk in their faith, growing closer to God, to “see him more clearly, love him more dearly, follow him more nearly day by day.”  

It is hard for me to imagine, but God tells us to call him “Father” (“Dad”) because He takes even more joy, if that is possible, when you or I choose to follow Him.  Maybe I focus too much on the sin I still do and that makes it difficult for me to think of making God smile.  But in looking at my own children and understanding that we are God’s children, I believe I have a glimpse of that joy and my heart overflows to consider Owen and Abbey as they set off on their life together.

Because God chose each of us for himself and he chose them for one another, as Paul writes in Ephesians, from before the Creation of the Universe.  And there is the tension I’ve tried to describe between God’s Plan and our Free Will.  Owen and Abbey are meant to be here.  What they do with their gifts is up to them, as it is for each of us.

And this was the prayer of all the witnesses who came to their wedding.  It was the prayer of those who have gone before us.  For each couple, whether just starting out, or coming to the finish line or anywhere in between, I believe marriage is a way to learn what it means to love, to draw closer and closer to this person that God has chosen for you, and in doing so, drawing closer and closer to God.  Of course, Christ did not marry, nor did Paul.  In following that path, they were better able to love and serve everyone around them, without the obligations that come with marriage.  The challenges of marriage come with the “sin that so easily entangles”.  Those close to us are more likely to see us tired, stressed, sick, and to feel our thorns.  

So my prayer is for them to run the race set before them, as in Hebrews.  It will take the training and effort of a world-class athlete.  Practice how to tell loved ones something difficult, but with love, gentleness and kindness.  Daily give thanks for all our blessings.  A coach can tell when his players have been working out, practicing on their own time and he can tell when they’ve been slacking.  Same with a music teacher or a foreign language.  And so it is with love.